Uncle Cledus lives in south Georgia, and is a frugal sort. The type of guy who'd squeeze an old nickel until the buffalo crapped. When his air conditioning went kaput during a freakishly hot summer a few years back, he dug around his garage and then his attic until he found a 20-year-old fan. He placed the fan on the kitchen table in front of an open window, then loaded a huge stainless steel bowl with ice and sat it in front of the growling fan. He and his wife, Edna, slept on sleeping bags on the kitchen floor, beneath the bowl and fan, for ten nights until his brother shamed him into calling an HVAC repairman.
Uncle Cledus owns a large one-bedroom house on forty-two acres miles from another human being, but up close and personal with hundreds of Red Imported Fire Ant nests. Every spring, and continuing through the summer, Cledus conducts his own personal Tet offensive against "the little red devils". And of course, it's the cheapest war on record. His first "sure-fire" weapon was molasses paste. Uncle Cledus mixed up a batch and adorned every ant mound he could find with a big, sweet glob of brown, sticky paste. Then he placed some on the window sills in the house, around the doors, and under the sinks. A few days later his house was infested with four more species of ants and various other sweet-toothed insects.
Never one to give up, Uncle Cledus tried Windex, vodka (kill 'em with hangovers?), Listerine, bleach, and white toothpaste. Why white? Your guess is as good as mine. Finally, his fifth cousin on his daddy's side told him to sprinkle grits over the top of every mound he could find, that the ants would eat the grits and explode from the resulting flatulence. And of course, you guessed it, the ants did not fart themselves to death.
Flummoxed over the fire ant situation and at the end of his rope, Cledus was filling his lawnmower with gasoline one day and spied a huge new ant mound next to a half-dead elm tree two feet from his bedroom window. His brain suddenly stormed and he ran over, doused the mound with gas and set it afire. In his zeal to vanquish the ants, he dumped too much gas on "the little red devils". The flames roared up the tree, and jumped to the roof of the house. Before uncle Cledus, Edna, and a passing group of migrant farm workers could put it out, the fire had consumed the bedroom. Back to sleeping bags on the kithen floor they went.
If you've got a fire ant problem
do not follow uncle Cledus's recipes for eradication. Do your own pest control, but use something that works--an insecticide like
Top Choice, that will kill the entire nest and give you relief from "the little red devils" for up to a year. Fire ants get their name from the sensation one feels when injected with the ant's venom. Fire ant stings cause intense irritation and may cause severe reactions and even death in especially sensitive people. Fire ants are very active and aggressive and may kill young wildlife and produce sores and nausea in humans. Yards and playgrounds frequented by children in fire ant rich regions, should be treated on a regular basis during peak fire ant season.
For a full line of do it yourself fire ant control products go to:
You Do It Pest Control Fire Ant Products.
Ants are remarkable insects and one of the most successful creatures on earth. In nature, ants are a prime food source for many animals. They aerate more soil than earthworms, and have taken advantage of every conceivable environmental niche. They can be found in every region of the world except for the earth's polar regions.